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HE

He always brags about his huge duck.
He is a Woozle. His name is Peanut.
He enjoys pantaloons more than he should.
He is dead and therefore unable to come to the phone.

He has a figure like Marcia Brady.
He has an extra Y chromosome.
He has a really nice skull.
He has a face that makes no sense.

He is not worried; he is in the title.
He sure hopes that's pudding.
He is surrounded by adoring housewives.
He tampered in God's domain.

He is the clown who makes the dark side fun.
He tried to kill me with a forklift.

      — Mike Topp