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FAILED CHILDREN'S BOOK TITLES

  1. You Were an Accident

  2. Strangers Have the Best Candy

  3. The Little Sissy Who Snitched

  4. Some Kittens Can Fly!

  5. How to Dress Sexy for Grownups

  6. Katy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her

  7. The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking

  8. Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia

  9. What Is That Dog Doing to That Other Dog?

  10. Bi-Curious George

  11. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry

  12. Mister Policeman Eats His Service Revolver

  13. You Are Different and That's Bad

  14. Shut Up or I'll Smack You, Bitch!

  15. The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator

  16. The Nice Doctor Who Liked to Poke Kids

  17. The Night The Bad Man Crawled Through My Window

  18. The Little Girl that Was Forgotten Forever

  19. If You Don't Keep Quiet Your Family Will Die

  20. Why All Nightmares Are Real

  21. Pet Torture Made Easy

  22. Uzis in the Schoolyard

  23. Why Child Labor Laws Must Go

  24. Is that Santa Really Drunk or Dad Dressed Up?

  25. Dry Run: Masturbation for the Pre-Pubertal Male

  26. How to Tell Your Parents Didn't Want You

  27. Schisms and Fissions: Why the Nuclear Family Breaks Down

  28. Gun Cleaning Made Easy

  29. Whining Your Way to Ice Cream

  30. The Joy of Fire

  31. Making Your First Hamster-Skin Coat

  32. After the Parking Brake It's All Downhill

  33. The Pills Your Parents Take

      — Anonymous