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If you have only half an urge, don't pee
if you must needs visit a public place,
for public bathrooms pressure publicly
and if you cannot squirt, you may lose face.
You may believe your bladder's sore to burst
and that the yellow need keeps getting stronger,
but mark my words, take time to be sure first
or you may stand humiliated longer.
The ego suffers when you must pretend
and flush a toilet full of unstained water;
"'Tis better," you say, "'Tis better to make an end
than stand there while my cheeks are flushing hotter!"
You hypocrite! Although a wasted trip,
you flush as if it weren't and calmly zip.

      — Dweebler Cramden