Steven Beatty

 

Cousin Jack

My Cousin Jack from Hackensack,
kayaks to Clavernack and back.
He rides the tide and tacks the slackened
rivers side to West Nyack and
takes a rest, enjoys a snack and
when the tide comes roiling back
then back inside of that kayak
Jack rides it quite to Clavernack

But wait that's only half the facts!

When Cousin Jack makes Clavernack
he takes a nap, enjoys a snack
then rides the tide and tacks the slackened
rivers side to West Nyack and
takes a rest , enjoys a snack and
when the tide comes roiling back
then back inside of that kayak
Jack rides it back to Hackensack.

And now you lack just one last fact.

When Jack's not off to Clavernack he drives a hack
in Patterson. And now we're done.

Sugar Shack

Some faded uptown icon
With her shitsu in a sack,
She finally made it down,
Now let's see her make it back.
Another jaded business boy,
Too lonely at the top,
Found the way down easy. Oh
But for that sudden stop.

It starts the same, bliss and pain,
The warming sun, the freezing rain.
Way, way, way across the track.
Back behind the Sugar Shack.

Our territory ranger rides
In through the double door.
Bullet hole between the eyes,
His spurs a-drippin' gore.
But the Candyman's forgotten
And Black Peter cain't recall,
Who it was that waits for him
In the room behind the wall.

The songs the same, pain and bliss,
But Winterland was not like this.
Way, way, way, across the track.
Back behind the Sugar Shack.

My antique market maven
Selling history by the slice,
Says, "It's a splendid acquisition
and at such modest price."
But cousin Cleopatra called
And I think said it best,
When she misquoting Shakespeare screamed,
"To much doth I protest!"

It ends the same, bliss and pain,
The warming sun, the freezing rain.
Way, way, way, across the track.
Back behind the Sugar Shack.

Zanzibar

Be I in my bed alone,
Or while out riding in my car,
I am, at either instance, prone,
To pondering old Zanzibar.
It’s not as if I’ve ever been.
It’s not as though I plan to go.
It’s just I find there’s something in
That name that makes me wonder so.

What’s back in style in Zanzibar?
What makes them smile in Zanzibar?
How far’s a mile in Zanzibar?
How long’s a while in Zanzibar?
And what’s the boast of Zanzibar?
And who’s the toast of Zanzibar?
What happens most in Zanzibar?
Is there a coast of Zanzibar?

Be I nearby hearth and home,
Or while repaired to parts afar,
I am, in equal measure, prone,
To pondering old Zanzibar.
That’s not to say I’ll lose some sleep.
It’s not as though I’ll make more dough.
It’s not as if my soul to keep.
It’s just I’d really like to know.

What’s all the talk in Zanzibar?
How hard ‘dey rock in Zanzibar?
Can I buy stock in Zanzibar?
Can I buy socks in Zanzibar?
So say what pays in Zanzibar?
Tom work-a-days in Zanzibar?
Your means and ways, oh Zanzibar,
My latest craze. Go Zanzibar!

So be I in my bed or car,
Or be I near or be I far,
When I’m not wishing on a star,
I’m prone to pondering Zanzibar.
And if we cross along the way,
And I seem at a loss to say.
Or if my fetch strike you as far,
Odds are I’m pondering Zanzibar.

Ima Rhyma

Oh there go those runners, they’re running that way,
Where they run every night and they run every day.
"Oh, it’s so fun to run." so those runners, they say.
If there’s one fun I shun it's to run... okay?

And I nix too you mixers you mixing that way.
Where you mix every night and you mix every day.
"It’s a kick though to mix." so you mixers may say.
If there’s one kick I nix it’s to mix in that way.

And the gall of you callers you calling that way,
You who call every night and who call every day.
It’s appalling, this calling, and all I can say,
Is, "The gall of you callers, stop calling...today!"

Oh and save me from wavers who wave in that way,
Where you wave every night and you wave every day.
When you wave and behave so, you may hear me rave so,
One sight I don’t savor’s a waver...no way!

And low-lurking shirkers you shirking that way,
Where you shirk every night and you shirk every day.
When you shirk, oh I just go berserk and I say,
No way you dern shirkers, no work then...no pay!"

 

Display

Holy Shit Man! What is it with BONO
That was some, um display he put on. Whoa!
Could I-a stood by with sabers or shears,
Good neighbor I'd have me both the boy's ears
No offence U 2 or you either
But that blowhole might give it a breather
So you say what is with that bum BONO--
That was some, um display he put on. No?